Role

I was never a Matt King, for I never had a marriage with someone. However, I had taken a  role with similar situation with Matt's. It went on like this: I loved someone and someone loved me. But then, because of some issues, we were not getting closer but separated further.

And then, on some occasions, I met her boys. (Or virtually, I saw their photos on Facebook.)I met her boy. I did not have an awful word to speak. Instead, I know what I have to do: become an angel and bless them from behind.

Does he love her? I just want to know this. I am not like Matt, who asked if they had sex at his bedroom. It was the emotion from a man of mid-life crisis but not for me. If she was loved, then good and well. She made the right choice and I hope she would be loved until the end of my life. If he does not, I would opt to forget and forgive. I dare not to say Fuck you, just like what Matt did in the film.

Because she made the choice. He made the choice. I made the choice. There was no one to blame and no one to get punished. Two straight lines never cross each other again in an Euclidean plane. We know that.

Very likely I will see that couple in the Photo day this Friday. God. Please bring me a pair of wings so I can fly away from the troubles. Also give me the power and courage to bless.

Descendant

The Descendant is a cup of bitter coffee to keep you awake. It seemingly is such a simple movie but the films keep rolling on your mind.

It was a story of a loser who searched for the man who got his dying wife. Well, the story line was so simple that you might get easily asleep. And yet, with the Hawaiian music as the background, the atmosphere was blue and kept me going through all the scenes with Matt King.

All Matt wanted to do was to know if the man loved his dying wife. After all, he could not do anything to get his wife back: being diagnosed brain stem death and incubated for survival, she is technically dead. No matter the answer it would be from the man, it would resolve the lock of Matt.

The man said no, when Matt asked him. It was so unfortunate to Matt and his wife. His wife loved the guy and would divorce for him. Matt was defeated by the man who did not love his wife.

And Matt forgave the man. It was the heart of the film. Let the power of forgiveness override every emotion and judgement. Let the past go.

打球不能望回報

林書豪不僅是一個故事，而且是一個戲劇，荷里活有可能以他為題材拍電影。

所有的戲劇元素都有了：少數族裔， NBA六十八年來第一個哈佛畢業生，被忽視的天份，長期坐冷板而不放棄、仍然每天練投籃六小時，陰差陽錯地替補出場，鬼使神差的技藝，謙虛又自信，還有一張害羞又熱情的臉。
他寫下了 NBA自 1974年以來，在前五場比賽中，共得 136分的最高得分紀錄；二十天前，他在紐約人隊以候補入替，一夕成名，並在其後比賽正選出場，取得連勝，使紐約人隊從暮氣沉沉的倒數第六的排名，兩週內升至前十名。
同時在 NBA打球的身高 7呎的中國球員易建聯說：「林書豪的努力得到回報，而我的努力卻得不到回報。」他說這句話正是他沒法在 NBA突圍而出的原因。林書豪不是為了回報而打球的。若講回報，他在哈佛經濟系畢業後，何以不去華爾街賺大錢？他為什麼在成績差的球隊兜兜轉而仍然鍥而不捨地堅持？
林書豪為什麼打球？他出賽時前臂上戴著橘色手環，上寫著：「 In Jesus Name I Play」（我奉耶穌之名打球）。這句話來自《聖經》以弗所書：「凡事要奉我們主耶穌基督的名，常常感謝父神。」他在個人網頁上又引《聖經》歌羅西書：「無論做甚麼，都要從心裡做，像是給主做的，不是給人做的。」他打球是聽從心中的召喚，不放棄從小就有的夢想。不為回報就沒有包袱，才發揮得好。
易建聯在參加 2007年 NBA選秀時，在廣東省社保中心網站上的出生日期是 1984年 10月 27日，幾天後即在選秀前，被改為 1987年 10月 27日。能諒解他要在 NBA打出名堂以求回報的心態，但同時明白他不是林書豪那類人。 (李怡)

Gang

The story ends, the thought never stops.

I did come across with some gangsters when I played football (after all, I was in it for at least 7-8 years). However fierce they looked like, they still obey the rules of game. The winner continues, the loser quits and the pitch belonged to those who booked it in advance.

Our excellent senior SS asked a question: why should these punch of people behave like this, instead of getting a better job and life? Providing that we are the potential tax payers (and obviously big payers), should we really distribute our resources to these sort of people who did nothing but destroying the harmony?

Though it was not necessary to equalize the gangs here with the young people who never had jobs outside, he had a point. There were really some people in our locality who did nothing, however, they demanded what they did not deserve. Based on our well-established social welfare system, we were obliged to provide them with money to sustain their living. However, with the nutrition they did not develop a better personality. Instead of it, they had neoplastic changes and finally metastatic effects in harm the community, so as our cases.

Of course, to tackle these cancers we obviously need a physician for culture. And as Nietzsche said, philosophers were the physicians for culture. So we did not have any (despite that we had two medical schools here) and the city is dying with these incurable cancers.

Society

Asking questions is the job of a philosophers, for there are so many unsolved problems in this world. Unfortunately, there are not enough philosophers in our land (or in fact, the philosophers have changed their occupations to tertiary industry workers) to demand an answer.

That's why we do not have questions here. Seemingly, ignorance is bliss. But there are so many problems. One problem that could not get out of my head recently come from a football game 2 weeks ago.

We a bunch of students went to one football pitch at Shatinwai. That time the pitch was occupied by some young boys. We told them we had booked the pitch in advance but they said we needed to show them the confirmation letter. Well, that time we did not have it and they forced us to go out, despite that they had only 5-6 people that time on the pitch (and we had 14 people at least).

And then we went to Tai Wai which was remote to us. We was acknowledged by the men there that they did not book the pitch. We were relived and decided to play with them.

But just after a while when we scored a goal, they strangely punched our scorer. They showed their tattoo and asked "你跟邊個大佬?". Obviously, they thought us were also gangsters.

We then had no mood to play again, going back to hostel or home as soon as possible.

Yundi

There is a difference between common people and genius. We all know. That's why when Yundi Li makes such an patriotic collection, I am so excited and have expected a lot for him. Red is color to represent our country, not because it is the color of the communists, but because it represents the good luck and happiness. He said.

In this day and age, no one dare to say Chinese are not the happy people. The Chinese have the most promising economy and they have a rapidly growing  military power which enable them to flex their muscles wherever or whenever they like. But concerning about the cultural development, the Chinese was forced to make a slow pace. You and I know the reason.

So, as an alternative tribute to his model Frederic Chopin, Yundi chose to make a Chinese collection with his red piano. It was not just a gimmick. It was for the reason that he loved this land. Just like the poet who enchanted for the countries in their way, Yundi played it in this way. Entwined with the romanticism and our Chinese traditional music, I found this album really amusing. I just did not only explore the fantasy of Chopin but also got into the wonders of our own nation. The national anthem March of the Volunteers no longer smelled awkward and bloody. It was renovated under the fingers of Yundi. He infused the anthem with genuine pleasure and joy, which the Chinese perhaps never had before.

The red represents good luck and happiness. He said it and promised it. I hope the day will come.

I hope.

我願意

The music video per se was completely rubbish.

There was no point in making an overrated model who could only make postures and smiles in a video like this. It did not convey any message about the song at all. Also, there was no point for Atsushi to wear a suit in a classic Chinese building (or Japanese one in fact?). What did it tell? I was completely confused.

However, the song was a classic. I never imagine that a male voice could produce such a delicate and yet emotional output. I used to wonder if a man could sing a song like this (which Faye Wong had made an obviously formidable barrier to every singer by setting a heavenly standard). The Japanese did it. He did it wonderfully, even though Mandarin was not his first language.

This was the first song that came to my mind when I thought about the permissive ending of The Return of the Condor Heroes. I also thought about the song when I had that special dream previously.

Debt

Last Saturday I attended the prize ceremony. Well, I was only a small potato and my responsibility was but to get a small award and (most of the time) clapped my hands for the true winners. Everyone deserved to be where they were that day.

At the end pages of the booklet there were some words from these winners. I immediately had my eyes focusing on my idol JC. He was perhaps one of the most successful medical graduates of our school. He was not just knowledgeable but also he was a kind and sincere person. I tried my best to learn the most from him, whenever I had the chance.

I also noticed that his classmate (who was also a very great graduate in our school) SC and CJC (who is currently a final year senior) was on the page. They had a few things in common. First they had the same surname, and they were very modest, attributing their success to all the people who taught them in these years. They all said, they were indebted.

My face went reddened because all my ego and grandiosity was exposed. I was indeed a small potato who claimed myself so great. The truly towering figures, in contrast, manifested the true knowledge: the true knowledge of the heart of medicine. I am also indebted. From now on I will be a modest one who will listen to others' opinions.

Arsene

You can never win the championship with the kids, Arsene.

Shortly after a 4-0 defeat in Italy, the London team got another setback with a 2-0 lost in the kick-out stage of the FA cup. Were you awake or did you still stay in your dream? It was not the Arsenal that I saw when I started to watch EPL. Well, people have changed and the squad have changed. But it was the way this team faced the game differed the most and it was that matter.

Roy Keane, our former captain noticed that the Gunners these days wore gloves. He said, if the players wore gloves, they were bound to lose. Well said. It was in fact not a must for football players to do it. It was not necessary. It reflected two things. First, they could not handle the stress. Second, they need to be comfortable. Please respect the profession. Keane said.

Please respect the profession. This line I just could not leave my mind. What is the nature of a football player? What is a football player? What is the difference between Ramsey and Keane? Should the Gunners really wear short-jersey without scarlet and gloves to identify themselves?

Please respect the profession. Arsene.

Tang

I never want to express any political ideas on my blog: it is too ugly and dirty to write. I love the stories of some politicians, and yet, since the present politics are but blood and lies, I dare not to pollute the environment here.

However, i would like to highlight one of the most, if not The striking news these days: that Henry Tang was guarded by her wife for the scandal of his apartment.

"I want to build a paradise and I want my family to be happy living in it." She said. Let's forget that it was a part of the politics in a few minutes. (And as I have said, the present politics are full of blood and lies.) Who proclaimed this before?

She knew that when she announced this, she would soon be charged for breaking the laws and policies. You could not say that she was not afraid of it. She was around 50's and she needed a home rather than a Shawshank. She was a mother of her children and a grandmother of their children. She never wanted to get into trouble, let alone get into jail.

Towards the reporters and the cameras she did not shed a tear. She said it and she bore the responsibility with it. It was not able to disprove the outlawing of Henry Tang, but it definitely prove how deep Mrs. Tang towards Tang and her family.

It was just like how Jesus Christ saved our lives. He was put up to the cross and sacrificed himself for all our mortals. HE loves us.

Blessing

The surgeon never failed to inspire me. 

He told all the housemen-to-be that being scolded was in fact a blessing. Huh? Does it mean that you failed the expectations from the others? How goodness did it have? People around me were puzzled. True. It was the age that "if you never do you will never get wrong." And as a result, people felt themselves perfect.

I, on the contrary, never have a question about that. Mistakes I have made quite a few. I was usually being scolded, not only before being admitted to the medical school, but also inside the school and inside the hospital. I of course, would have some bad feelings after that. But it was a part of learning. If someone showed a bad face to you, you will need to know why they did so, and how you should improve yourself. Your allegedly enemies are the best teachers in your life.

These kind of people who expressed their emotions are good friends to have. In contrast.......Sigh! I shall not elaborate more.

Mentor

Last Saturday we had a gathering with our mentor from CUMP. She was MC.

She had many identities. Each identity I can learn a lot from. First. She was a academic and earned her doctoral degree for quite some time. She was of course a talent. But at the same time, what I could see was that she loved doing her academics and services. With that attitude, she paid so much attentions to her works.

She was also a nurturing mother. She knew what she had to do in different stages of her children. In the early days, she gave a lot of her life (really) to her growing kids. She brought him to the beach to face the breeze. She brought him to the mountain to allow him to breath. Now that the kids become teenagers and adult, she allow them to do whatever they want. It was a true respect.

She was a fighter to her life, in the end. She suffered so much at her prime time. Leaving so many regrets though, she was not making the disappointments into burdens. Instead, she tried to convert them into the motivations. She not just made it for herself. The motivations have become the fuels to generate energy for the others. She was the match to light up the lives of others.

Matthew 20:28 : Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Encounter

The story between W and I left unfinished. However, when I woke up, I realized that I was still the person I am in the reality. W was still the one she was. We did not have a date there. The green land. The blue sky. The clean air. We did not date at all.

Dream is a random product of neurological activities during sleep. It was not that you think about it in your daily time and you will dream about it in the night. We know that. I know it well. I used to think that dream is the gift from Him to make some prophecies for me. But I did not know if it was true. Either I changed the destiny or it was not prophecy.

Still, there was still a chance that people could share their dreams. May be it was possible that when I dreamed about this date. W would have the same dream. It was also possible that we dreamed at the same time. She in the dream could be searching for me. We could share the same imaginary space just like Inception.

Despite that, I must be conscious now that this was not happening. W and I were friends.

昔者莊周夢為胡蝶，栩栩然胡蝶也。自喻適志與！不知周也。俄然覺，則蘧蘧然周也。不知周之夢為胡蝶與？胡蝶之夢為周與？周與胡蝶則必有分矣。此之謂物化。（《莊子‧齊物論》）

Missing

(Discussion with my friend J continued.)

What I also told her was my plan to watch He's a Woman, She's a Man (金枝玉葉).

Recently, Leslie's voice has come out of my PC and my head again. The volume did not drop but climb up during my sleep. I could still hear his songs during my dream. It was exactly what the lyrics said: 是你的聲音 夜夜陪伴我的夢.


Moreover, I also had multiple dreams. It was nothing but about a dating with a girl called W. We agreed to meet at an imagined place. As far as I can remember, there were greenery fields, with a blue sky and clean air. I went up so high that I can get all the wonderful views. It was the place I long for.


When will she come? I waited and waited. At last, I woke up. It was a dream.


I did not want to wake up and want to go back to the imagination. But I could not. I could not even see her in the dream.


P.S. Do you know that Jin Yong was planned not allowing Yang Guo and Xiaolongnü to meet after sixteen years in The Return of the Condor Heroes (神鵰俠侶)?

Midnight

After a nice dinner with our mentor MC, it was an hour before midnight. I decided to go home by taking bus, in order to recognize the roads. I did not know the way to go back from North Point to Tin Hau. Luckily, J knew it and she brought me there by taking the "丁丁", also known as the tramways.

The tram moved on. The lights outside shined into the vehicle and some passengers were fell asleep. Everything is just so similar. It was not easy to suppress the deja vu feeling.

"Have you watched Rouge (胭脂扣)?" J asked me. That movie began with Anita Mui sitting on the upper decker of the tram. "Surely I have! Because it was the movie of Anita Mui and Leslie Cheung." Oh, they two have become the ghosts that haunted in my heart. "It was brilliant movie. Unfortunately, before we arrive to the place where the film was taken (around 西環), we need to leave the tram. It would have been a good experience." She said.

I nodded. "In the 80's and 90's, there were so many good movies. I wished I have been born 10 years earlier!" On top of that, I wish I had never been to the present time.

"Oh my, do you remember Midnight in Paris?" J seemed have another point of view. "We should not stay in the past!"

She might be right. I might be wrong.

Soul

When Aaron Ramsey scored a goal yesterday, you probably would be cautious that someone famous would die. This time it was unfortunately an artist, even worst, she was Houston. Just 2 days before the Valentine's Day.

Probably you never knew her. Yes. She does not belong to this generation. This generation is sadly dominated by JB and Lady Gaga. Nobody is an artist.

I did not hear a lot of her songs. But at least I know this is the song of her. I Will Always Love You. This song was not originally for her. But just by chance she happened to record it, and signed her name on the history of soul music.

I Will Always Love You did not have a complex structure. The chorus was just a repeat crying of the name of the song. Despite that she sang what everyone's heart out. It was perhaps one of the best music I 've ever heard. and it was perhaps one of the best lines in the history.

Linsanity

Lin is a male user of forum.hkgolden.com. (高登仔)

His height is more than 180cm. He had a degree of Harvard University. He was handsome. He was under the spotlights from the planet. Unlike the previous cases of Yao and Yi. He was well praised by the Americans as well. Linpossible is everything.

Perhaps what he did not have was just an apartment from the mid-level (in Hong Kong) and a race car. Also a top-model girlfriend.

If you thought that he was but a shooting star which will fade soon, you were proved wrong again and again. He already provided one of the highest efficiency among all the NBA players, second to the King James. He was from Harvard, huh?

However, we shall not be over-joyful. He was just one of the people who gain after tears and sweats in the state. There was no impossibility. There you can have a chance to shine, no matter where you come from.

Face

One friend of me had be enrolled in a experiment to examine the effect on one person if he quits the social network for 7 days.

It looked quite interesting to me, because I had this plan for a long time. Why to go to Facebook? What attracts me? I found there is nothing to attract me anymore. I feel better if I can talk to other people and I feel good to text people using SMS, at least, when compared with making a wall message to "friends".

The definition of friends has been very blur. There were some friends in the Facebook whom I never talked to. The reason that we became friends was in a sense, very accidental.

It will be difficult to quit this as it will be difficult for a drug addict to leave the acid. The cortex has been changed and everything you think of in the real life has been linked to Facebook these years. It would be hard, if not impossible to change the chemical synapse.

It will be also the same situation when you have to leave someone you love.

Artist

There is a difference between art and performance.

There is a projection of emotion from an artist. Every color they painted in a drawing, every note they made in a music, and every word they enchanted in a poet means something. It was something that moved you so much that you was not even able to hide yourself, merely allowing your emotion to overcome yourself.

Whereas, a performance might excite you, but you turn out lose yourself and did not feel a thing eventually. It was sensational, but it was not touching.

Therefore, there was a difference between Chopin and Liszt, Yundi Li and Lang Lang, U2 (the 90's) and U2 (the current one), and Radiohead and Muse.

He is heavily driven by his emotion. Without it, he cannot do anything. With he, he can create the wonders. In contrast, a performer can sing 1000 times love songs, just he was asked to. It was industrial and automatic.

I could not sing "Nothing's gonna change my love for you" now, according to my roommate.

Chase

Stop saying that doctors running out to the public hospitals to the private sectors are a bunch of money-loving.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to attach to a doctor at Union Hospital. Union Hospital, in contrast to our public hospitals, is place of energy and harmony. The staff are nice. The nurses are contented when they meet the patients. The doctors do not look tired and exhausted. Even the environment Everything is good and fine.

The doctor I attached to used to be a physician in PWH. Unlike the previous experience of attachment, she was responsible for more complicated medical cases in the clinic. Also, her patients were more knowledgeable about their diseases and the associated medications. All you need was to be more knowledge, more patient and more caring.

Despite a more demanding clinical setting in terms of quality, the doctor loves this. She could have more communications with the patients. The development of the doctor-patient relationship is much better. She can follow the patients more frequently and know the patients better.

Perhaps it is what doctors imagined their lives before they had entered the medical schools. What these doctors are doing in the private sectors are chasing for what they want to be.

Quality

At last I would like to give some comments on what I am attaching: the family medicine and community medicine.

The life is so easy here because you don't have a book of terminology to read and a "sunflower" to memorize. All you have to do is stay in your room when you don't need to attach to private doctors or other assigned clinicians, since there is no reason to go through the lectures. I am already year 4. You can't stop me studying hard on my own.

And I make use of the time to read many things that interested me. The Oxford Clinical Medicine is no longer difficult. The Harrison is very comprehensive. I enjoy these days a lot because I am free of stress to study. Medicine is good. Surgery is good.

So as the quality of the consultation in a Family medicine setting. At least the patient can really talk to a doctor. It is perhaps not seen in other clinics (except Professor Wing's clinic). Perhaps it is THE medicine. You know, Sherlock Holmes always ask his client to go through his story completely before his detective action, and he is the best diagnostician in the world.

If you are really interested in being a good doctor, family medicine may be really one of your choices.

Opposition

In order to join the crowd who have recently made a strong opposition to the people who come from the PRC, I decided to leave them and think about what the world we are in.

Yesterday was a day to be recorded in the history, for the netizens have gathered enough money to post a full-page advertisment to show where they stand: there was our Hong Kong being infested by locusts. There was also dreadful slogans: do you want to give the money to those Double-negative babies?

They succeed. The whole China was shocked and the netizens there made similar advertisments on the internet, simply saying that Hong Kong was but a city which was fully relied on the assistance of the PRC, including the electricity, water and food supply. Most importantly, they said, if there was no tourists from the PRC, Hong Kong would have been fallen.

I never think that doing this kind of advertisment would do any good beside to release the tension (a little bit) in a short while. Most of the Hong Kong people were yet to demonstrate the character of a good citizen. Doing this advertisment was the first sign of immaturity.