Ayumi

It may sound odd, but I am always a fan of Ayumi Hamasaki (濱崎步).

It all began with my brother. When he lived with me 10 years ago, he had a collection of the albums from this Japanese singer, who was already a megastar that time. Strange enough, we both did not know Japanese. More strange is that we both were so attached to her music. Of course, we did not know the lyrics.

You might say, well, because the melody is attractive that we loved her songs. But technically the singer did not have a wide vocal range, compared with the contemporary singers that time. The composition of the songs might play a role, as you know there are so many re-mix versions of her songs, which are released as albums as well! (I suppose she did break the record to make few albums from few songs with various remix versions, and almost all of these albums are commercial successes that time.)

When I look back today, as I listen to her songs again and again recently, I realize that it is the emotion that inspire the generation of my time. Seemingly it is very difficult hard to comprehend, but this is the power of music, which is itself a language for communication. How often the people who listen to the Italian Opera will know the lyrics? People just appreciate it and love it anyway.

I am glad that I process the power to appreciate music, which has been my third language for so many years, making me cry and smile all the time.

Circle

Finally I did the half marathon last Sunday. Though disappointed by result, I still managed to make my personal best.

It is lucky for me to accomplish the run. Thousands of people lost their limbs which disabled them to run. Some people do not have the good lungs and heart to keep them moving. I am grateful to be a healthy person to strive for the personal best, at the best time of my life.

Speaking of which, I still remembered when I started to develop running as my habit. It was in year two when I felt that I should join the HK marathon, and I bought a pair of the running shoes which I am still using.  The first place I ran was in CU campus, in a silent night that only the shadows of the trees and the shadow of me were with me. I could hear, regularly, the sound produced by the moving train around the train station. Sometimes the winds blew and the crepitations from the leaves, I still remembered them.

Now that I am already in year five and a few months later I will become a part of the health care system. Time is running so fast that I can't possibly catch for it. Perhaps last Sunday would be the last time I ran as a student. Well, I can't get a better ending than this.

Colour

A plain paper can hold anything. Some tried to write down words on it. Some tried to put the pigments on it. You put all the colours onto it and make me a part of the beautiful picture. The colours did not fade in these few years and it is more intensified when the time of departure has come.

I am so happy that I, the paper, met you, the painter. You gave me the meaning of life and taught me what was worthy to purse and what was not. I made a mistake that I could never turn back and I chose to leave you, without saying goodbye. Since then this paper was never painted again and it made itself a trash, rather than a picture.

I usually did not turn back, but when I turned, there are so much regrets that I could not dare to open up my eyes to see. Therefore, I tried to keep my eyes forward. It did not help. People need to always remember the past to fight for the better tomorrow. Before is the front of the people. Our languages has wonderfully told us this very truth. When I really turned back to you, things started to come to my head. It completed the hiatus of me and I, now, have become a new person.

Thank you very much.

Wishes

I had a flashback on a very occasion in my junior surgical clerkship. I was in UCH attaching to their surgical department. Lacking of any knowledge about surgery, I did not know what to do exactly in the wards, I could just find some patients who were lying comfortably on the beds to talk.

The professors says, the patients are the best teachers for us. But for convenience, I preferred to find some young patients who were supposed to be communicable, in order to commence my learning activities. I was in the 8B ward with patients having urological problems, following the evening round. The doctors took a lengthy time discussing the treatment plans for the patients, most of their conversations I did not understand.

Afterwards, I talked to the patient who was reading a Bible, at the bedside there was a wood cross. Chief complaint, history of present illness, past medical history......I wrote them up but did not know what was really going on with him. How stupid I was, I thought to myself, to spend precious time with a young patient with some incomprehensible history. Finishing my history taking, I was puzzled by him, and the words from the professors.

"I 've got a growth in the pelvis that the doctors did not know how to treat, so I don't think you can know it clearly!" He told me, smiling. The discussion finally came to nothing since I could not make any reasonable guess. I checked his medical record and really saw a weird diagnosis, presumably a rare malignant disease.

So coming back to this time, when my senior surgical clerkship has ended and the year of Snake has come, I recalled that situation. Rare diseases seldom are seldom curable, not to mention a malignant one. The statisticians who thought they know the truth (within the confidence interval) will probably conclude that the gentlemen should have gone already.

But I know he still stay in this world, or at least in my mind. I wish him happy new year, and stay healthy, my teacher.

Amnesia

Nietzsche says: The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

In other words, The disadvantage of a good memory is that one suffers from what they have remembered.

One day I talked to an old lady who is a manager of a geriatric support group. She told me how bad the condition for someone to develop Alzheimer's disease, which caused a lot of carer stresses. "The patients looked so healthy that they seemingly are not having problems, but they just cannot remember what they have done with their family members in the past."

Of course, as we all know, the disease has a characteristic of retrograde amnesia, which the patient can easily forget what they have done in the recent time, but can preserve the memory from the very old days. But the patients having severe degeneration can forget everything.

"When I look to my friend Sir Charles Kao." She went on. Mr. Kao is the Nobel Laureate who is also known as the father of optic fiber. "He is never troubled with his problems. Preserving his socializing ability he can join in a lot of parties and be talkative. Of course, he may not even know who he is talking to, or what exactly he is talking about. Despite that he enjoys so much, and I am so moved by his wife, who took care of him for every little thing."

So you see, how bliss and misfortune can combine themselves to present before us. 禍兮福之所倚，福兮禍之所伏 (老子．五十八章)

Valentine's Day: Science of Love

Stone

A doctor recently made an entry on Facebook, earning thousands of likes and praise.

I shall not discuss whether the medical officer will one day become the Victor Hugo of our time, but pray allow me share with you a piece of famous story about Jesus Christ and a woman who did sin. This is from John 8:1 - 11.

Jesus went across to Mount Olives, but he was soon back in the Temple again.Swarms of people came to him. He sat down and taught them.

The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, “Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him. 
Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, “The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone.” Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt. 

Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?”

“No one, Master.” “Neither do I,” said Jesus. “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.”

Though Nietzsche said we are now on our own in this world, it certainly needs some senses for people to judge.

Cosmetic II

The Professor asked if we went to Korea before, and did we notice the obvious abnormalities on the streets.

Yes I did, and I did once describe the finding in this very page (http://kkpoon329.blogspot.hk/2012/01/mask.html).

He went on telling us about his personal experience on the people in this country. "Their face are broad, chins are gross and eyes are small, thanks to their skull development. And because of their cold environment, their genetics has decided they have to be a bit obese to survive!" He said. "They may be exceptionally white, but it does not make them beautiful: please bear in mind that in this East-asian region, beautiful face is almost defined by the Japanese girl." Our authority said.

I could not be more agree with him. Indeed, what the Koreans are trying to do, whatever in their faces or in their technologies, they are replicating the success of Japanese. Although it may still be consider good by coping from greatness, there is not much character in the appearance of the Koreans. Mathematically, most of the people in Korea who receive plastic surgery are trying to minimize the standard derivation from the "beauty" in the distribution curve. (But in reality I don't think the curve is in normal distribution anyway.)

However, it is sad to see everyone try to look like the same person, or behave the same. Even worse, many of us like to do this. Many of us like to lose their own characters.

Perhaps it is like what the medieval philosophers proclaimed: we are all the replicates of the Gods. What we are trying to achieve to a step closer to the NORMAL: the Lord. So, welcome to the era of characterless-ness. This is the time where we all believe in God. 

Cosmetic I

This is the final week of senior surgical clerkship that I am in plastic and reconstructive surgery. Sincerely I hope this will be my last week of surgical clerkship as a medical student!

This epic finale begins with an introductory lecture from Prof. AB. First of the foremost, it is about the definition of PRS in true medical context. Well, this specialty has been misunderstood by the public for a long time. Perhaps some will just consider plastic surgeons a service-provider to those who can afford to pay, for the sake of beauty.

The professor said "Some people have structural abnormalities of their appearance (skins, mainly) and need to have reconstruction surgery. This is a major part of our duty. Another part is, we perform surgery for the sake of cosmesis." Don't underestimate the relationship between your outlook and your "health". After all, as WHO stresses, health is a combination of physical health, mental and social health, not just the absence of disease.

In this case, a beautiful face can ensure a good physical health, lift up our mind, and subsequently, enable us to make a better social circle. (That's certainly an important function of our appearance: some even suggest it helps our ultimate goal of living: to mate.)

But what is beauty? What is in the surgeons' mind (or the client's mind) when they want to make a beautiful face?

P.S. For the information of Facebook philosophers, this is perhaps one of the earliest philosophical questions since the time of Plato (or even earlier).

Soundtrack

Music is a kind of language, that's why it also can tell a story. Sometimes it comes with the movies (what we also call pictures) to make the story sounds better.

For unknown reason I start to appreciate, on top of the eye-catching scenes of the movies, the background music. It all begins with the Batman series from Christopher Nolan, with his long-term composer partner Hans Zimmer who provided him with the fuels of melodies.

Mr. Zimmer, if you know him well enough, is also the composer of the Lion King soundtrack.

People usually asked how it is possible for composer to write a score out of a picture, when the picture is not created by the musician himself. It is not the situation that we see in pop music or classical music. Will the director or the actor hum a melody which they think are suitable for the composer? Probably not. Most of the time, they will just give the composer the ideas or the themes that they should strife for. But how do a theme or an notion evolve as a score, that's the magic composers can make.

The magic of soundtracks are that it can come to your mind when you encounter similar situations as though we are in the movie. The soundtrack will play themselves as you go through the episodes. That's universal for everyone in the planet, as music is perhaps one of the few common languages to communicate, which does not need anymore lyrics.

Oh, how can possibly a man like me to live without music.