永年

Thanks to my friend Ford, this year I have been one of the biggest fan of the local Wing Lin Store.

For the readers who do not know this restaurant, here you are some rough history. The Store has been in Yuen Long for around 30 years, run by a family. You know what, it started with a moving story like 阿信 (おしん). The mother of the current owner (which is the tall bald man) used to sell Chu cheong fun (豬腸粉) with her trolley around Yuen Long to earn the living for her family. It was simple, but not easy, because she risked herself being charged by Health Officers on the street. Be it a sunny day or a rainy day, her fight went on as the wheels of the cart rolled, until she got the enough capital to launch a shop. This was where Wing Lin Store began. That time, they sold Chu cheong fun in the morning, and cigarettes and drinks in the afternoon.

No sooner the tall man took the charge of the store, he decided to make a change by selling Cart Noodles (車仔麵). Its name may be misleading to some extent: It is a restaurant and not a store only; It sells noodles regularly at one place (also providing a comfortable dining place for eaters), rather than a cart selling noodles.

Anyway, it has become one of the best restaurants in this town: Radish, Chicken Wings and Chitterlings, and never forget its mysterious spice (Also the rude attitude of the staff). They have become the trademarks of this very place. Everyday, people in this town or people travelling from other places dare to get a taste of them (including the attitude). They have made a long queue outside. People who know the truth never wonder about it. People who do not are stunned.

I was not particularly fond of this restaurant when I was in secondary school. Actually it is hard for students to queue up for long time at the expense of precious lunch time. Chances usually came after football games, when we would try to grab a bowl of noodles in weekends.

The noodles are challenging to our bodies. The spice has a chemical effect to stimulate our sweat glands to profuse, but at the same time, it also boosts up the activity of our nasal and throat secretion that makes us sneeze and cough. Even worse, our stomach (so as the whole gut) will burn whenever the spice rushes in. Looking at each other's embarrassing response is indeed a fun. The store is so good that it also sells tissue papers (and many soft-drinks).

Speaking of the spice, I am perhaps one of the few customers who request a lot. Ordinary customers will request "little spice" (which is around 1/5 of the spoon they use) when they get the noodles. But to me, my usual request is two whole spoons of spice. My friends always wonder how I can end up finish the whole noodles, and at the same time emptied the whole bowl (with the spicy soups). The trick is simple. Because I never drinks during eating, so my glands will be desensitized at the first time. Eventually, I could try the spice and at the same time not look silly, using a lot of tissue papers.

But today when I ordered the noodles with a request of 3 spoon of spice, the bald man told me "Don't try so much. I've known some people who challenged themselves with our spices, who took similar amount as you did, died from gastric ulcer or intestinal bleed."I was scared.  "I will help you this time, but you should try to taper down it next time."

With his advice, I finished this bowl of noodles cautiously. I knew he did not fake. The stimulation has been enormous but I tried to ignore it. But my body has no doubt suffered from it.

Be true to yourself! Don't fake it! And don't be late until the problem comes. These were the words on my mind when I finished the noodles, leaving the bowl filled with the soup. I have decided, thereby, I will not request any spice in the future. Be true to myself. It is hard to endure, so don't pretend it is easy.

Seemingly it is a trivial thing. But in conclusion of everyone's life, what really is a big thing?

Water

One of the most successful strategy in Age of Empires II: The Conquerors (AOC) is the use of Knight Rush. It means that players will try their best to go to the Castle Age as soon as possible (around 16 minutes) in order to start the raiding by some Knights, which can only be produced during the Caste Age.

Like most strategy textbooks says, time means everything in war (兵貴神速). Provided that Knights have high mobility and attacking power, they are the best options to start a quick war to destroy the economics of the enemies. It is an appealing tactics that the opponents can hardly defend in that early stage. Even they decide to defend by developing anti-knight units, the cavalry can still be managed as defensive units. When the enemies comes, Knight units are still the most reliable units, with their speed and armors.

You see, the Knight units in the game is just like water. It can be still but can be aggressive. Water can flow and water can crash, as mentioned by Bruce Lee.

天下莫柔弱於水，而攻堅強者莫之能勝，其無以易之。「弱之勝強，柔之勝剛」，天下莫不知，莫能行。是以聖人云﹕「受國之垢，是謂社稷主；受國不祥，是爲天下王。」正言若反。  (道德經)

Empire

There was a kind person from the closed Ensemble Studios who wanted to continue the Age of Empire, a famous real-time strategy game which came to our world 12 years ago.

To many people, these years are a long time. In Hong Kong we have been under the rule of three CEs who were controlled by the King from the north. Everytime a new CE comes, worse things happen. Their leadership has sunken our heart, depleting our talents and destroying our souls. We, as citizens, are going to see something we do not want to see very soon, the so-called the death of Hong Kong.

Politics and governance needs strategy. The lack of strategy (or perhaps a logical mind) of the officials and LegCo made our town from the Imperial Age to the Dark Age. We are in short of vision and we cannot see the enemy. We do not have the knowledge to see the future. Living in the Dark Age simply means we are living in the dark. But in reality we are perhaps worse: we could not even farm our land because the government decided to sell them to the tycoons or the King from the north.

May I suggest our CEs and our LegCo to play this game with the new patch. Oh, I forget to tell you the name of the game. It is called The Forgotten Empires.

However, we never forget how good we used to be before 1997.

Christmas II

I may not be qualified as a Christian, but Les Misérables touches my heart.

To tell you the truth, I was just at first attracted by the line-up: Hugh Jackman, Russell Gore and Anne Hardaway. I did not appear to have particular interest to Hugo's original novel, nor the famous musical. Had I not read some preview article, I would have not known that the actors will actually sing the pieces in the movie.

But it turned out to be very pleasing. First I never consider this movie a "fun" one that I should bring some popcorn and coke inside the theater. My attitude gets the reward (though I am not sure if the two audience who sit besides me, holding the snacks and making noises, would have the same one).

Masterpiece always shine. To Hong Kong, we did not get the right feeling from this very holiday (in fact, we did not have a good Christmas for a long time since 1997). The days and nights were all commercial. People went to everywhere to spend their money as though tomorrow would never come. This movie is a refreshing one to show what kind of thing we are supposed to bear in mind. More importantly, what we should bear in mind should not be forgotten after Christmas.

To the one who had a dull holiday (like me), this movie is perhaps the highlight of this holiday. After all, I have not gone to church for a long time. This city kept disappointed me, frustrated me and tormented my soul. But this movie is enlightening to show us that how great unconditional love and forgiveness should be. After all, the law of the heaven works only when people really practise it.

The God has again lighted up my way.

Christmas

I am never fond of being a fundamental christian (Oh, I am not qualified as a christian after all). But on this very day, there is some inconvenient truth that must be said.

It was known that around 2000 years ago, the child was born today. Because of that, some people decided we should have holidays these days to celebrate this glorious day. For many years, we did. We prepared for it, we enjoyed it for this purpose (though not this purpose only) and we had a great time.

However, when you look outside the window and go along the Victoria harbor, you should know that people might not have even know this holiday is for Jesus Christ. The light decoration has everything but not the religious symbols. What people are carrying are Chanel or Titus. Look at the advertisements and all the commercials. Today has become the glory day of Capitalism, but not the day of Christianity. People are elated with the pulse of materialistic satisfaction and yet they do not realize the meaning.

I might be wrong. Even the Vatican acknowledged recently that the 25th of December is not really the birth date of Jesus Christ. Today may be just another ordinary holiday. Why don't we all take a rest. Merry Christmas.

Music For Life 2012: De Betties live

They sing better than Matthew himself because they have a higher vision. Let's not forget our old people on the very apocalyptic day.

Lifetime

人生有幾多個十年。

Today I had the most fruitful day with my best friends this year, if not in my life. After so many years, we went hiking today, conquering the HK Trail 1 and 2. It sounded simple, but it turned out born so many fun and joy during the trip.

I am thankful to KH and SC who instantly agreed to join me for this under-prepared trip. After all I just had this idea 2 days ago and had not tried this trail before. Also I feel blessed when the weather was so good today that I should not have prepared anything extra clothing but a pair of sunglasses. In that time of moment,  I had all that I wanted and needed for a good trip.

We never ran out of things to talk, as usual. We talked about the philosophy in our minds. Is a human being good or bad in the beginning? What is Deception and the Matrix is about? We also talked about the lives recently -- the exam, the health and the jobs as grown-ups.

But sometimes we chose not to talk during the trip when we felt equally well -- we have known each other so well for so many years. Everything was so unusual today: in the midst of December, we had the blue sky above our heads, birds singing to our ears and winds breezing to our faces. The only usual thing today was we were so happy. It is usual.

Life is hard, and it has become harder in my medical school life without best friends around. Some day I don't really want to wake up in these few years, but it was not today when I had to meet my friends and go to the Peak together with KH and SC. Thanks the God of our universe that just pick up the right combination of particles together, making my friends and me, in a certain time of the his history. I surely cannot ask for more, and shall not want more.

Luck

As a former residential society member, I surely have the right to get a ticket for the Christmas Party next Monday, and of course partake in the lucky draw to try my luck for the iPad mini. That's something that most of us will want. It's light and its bright. Not particularly it makes you feel you are smart and trendy, you make people think the same way: it is the work of the deceased Steve Jobs.

But as I will have a learning activity outside the hospital around the time, there is no way for me to join the party, as well as the precious iPad mini. The idea of getting it has been in my mind, no matter how slim the chance it is for me to get it eventually: There will be perhaps around two hundred people in the game, and I am just one.

In view of that I asked my friend RW for help: I had decided to give him the ticket for the entrance, but I had to make sure that, in case he wins anything with the ticket, it will be given to me. Of course, I want nothing but the iPad mini.

The greedy mind has been in my mind, but on one occasion he told me he wanted to get one ticket for himself, not mine. I just realized how blind I was: I used my friend for something that I would mostly never have. How stupid I am!

On top of that, I know the impossibility for me to get something that does not belong to me. You know what I am talking?

Thus, I now really decided to give him the ticket as well as anything he will win.

Apathy II

Soon he got a endoscopy done by a good surgeon, who also took care of my mother's previous surgical condition. The result so far was still pending, however, malignancy basically was not the case.

My father took some drugs and got better with his meal. His mood was much better. Then I asked myself, if I was too stable on the course of my father's illness, or more technically, I was not having enough empathy towards my own father.

What troubles me is that, despite that our senior doctors teach us about showing empathy to people who suffer from diseases with our heart, I am not able to do it even to my father. I do not really take care of my father and sometimes even feel annoyed by his complaints. Am I? I asked myself and hoped the answer to be no. I am not concerned because I know this condition is most likely to be a benign and curable one. I am not concerned because my father did not look like a cancer patient. I am not concerned because......I am cold.

Realizing that there is a "cold" inside my heart, I have no idea on how to deal with that. That puzzles me the most.

Apathy I

I think I've got a problem.

My dad in recent months had stomachache that troubled his eating. He had lost appetite despite that he knew that he needed to eat. With that he had lost a few pounds.

He asked me whenever I was back from school. "What kind of problems that I possibly could have with my stomachache?"

"It is usually infection-related gastritis. You should go for a gastroscope for some checking." I asked him to try the governmental clinics. However, those medical officers just prescribed him some antacid. He instantly got relieved. But I was not convinced.

Remembering that our professor of gastroenterology said on one occasion that with suspicious symptoms, we should provide gastroscopy for a endoscopic diagnosis of the underlying disease, instead of blindly giving antacid for symptomatic relief.

My father, obviously had some suspicious symtpoms. What I did not tell him until last Sunday, was that I suspected he may have cancer. (However rare this could be, this is possible.)

He was scared and at one midnight (when I was watching football game), he asked me to find him a doctor for the investigation.

Scorpions

One day my roommate randomly picked up a song in the Youtube. Both of us, after hearing the first part of the verse, wondered if we actually heard this song before. Thus we search something about this song.

We would probably not in deja vu because this song looked very famous. But then I am not convinced and I got the lyrics of the song. This is the chorus:

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Your pride has built a wall, so strong
That I can't get through
Is there really no chance
To start once again
I'm loving you

It is not the fame of this song that moved me, but the meaning of the song. It could not possibly be better to say the words from my very soul.

I shall say nothing more. Please listen to the song.

飛蛾撲火

There are two stories that I want to share with you. Who I am talking about in these two stories, you probably know.

The first one is about a boy to a girl. The girl is a notorious player who has given a lot of wrong messages to guys around her, hurting many people and perhaps causing some go mad. Despite that she seems enjoying it and decides to continue.

There is a boy who come from a famous family and meets this one. Not being afraid of getting a bad name, he keeps on pursuing her. Whether it is love or madness or obsession, no one knows, but this time even the girl has given the boy a clean message, his mind has not been changed.

Year after year, both the boy and girl has been a man and a woman.

落魄江湖載酒行，楚腰纖細掌中輕。
十年一覺揚州夢，贏得青樓薄倖名。

***************************************

The second one is about a girl and a boy. Knowing that the boy's birthday is arriving, the girl tried her very best to prepare a meal, inviting the friends of the boy to host a party.

The party per se was a success, everyone enjoy it so much, praising the meals made by the girl and showing appreciation.

But all the people all know what is happening. We could not help asking. What is the unconditional love?

問世間情是何物，直教生死相許。
天南地北雙飛客，老翅幾回寒暑。
歡樂趣，離別苦，就中更有癡兒女。
君應有語，渺萬里層云，千山暮雪，只影向誰去？

續集

「死亡的意義」講座當日，悲風悽雨。完畢，我走到梁道長的跟前，想問一兩個問題。問罷，跟他說我很喜歡他的作品，特別是我執一書。

我不是聽眾裏頭唯一一個喜歡這書的人。我見不少人都手執此書找梁文道簽名，他亦來者不拒，一個一個都簽下來。但他並不顯得雀躍－－是因為他已經很有名，覺得這些不過是一種賣書的售後服務；或者，這雖是他嘔心瀝血的作品，他深深覺得，這是不應該看的書呢？

我執，簡意即堅持自己的立場，佛教說這是不好的，我們都要放棄。但偏偏我們這班讀者覺得道長寫的我執不是一本可以隨意放手的書，或者，這不是一本可以說要放棄就能放棄的書。它在心中留下一個一個傷心的故事，哲理和問題。如果時間真能沖淡的話，但願書中一切就可以就此消磨。但時間卻選擇叫人失望。這叫做刻骨銘心，科學上，這叫疤痕。

上癮了，讀這書是傷心傷神的，我們就要打心傷透。揭過無數次的書頁，已見淡黃的痕跡，讀書人仍像瘋子的看著這些屬於他人的故事。不是，讀書人覺得自己身在其中，覺得有共嗚，覺得痛快。這是人性－－他非要自己再嗜苦果不可。

我問道長：「你會否再寫書如我執呢？」

我其實心知答案，立刻加上一句：「不過可能，你自己都不願再次痛苦。」

道長答：「或者我會試一些新題材吧。」

他近年信佛，或者就是這個原故：何苦執著呢？事情來到如斯地步，何苦強求下一集？放棄我執，才是脫苦海的一步。

Mentor

Today I met Leung Man Tao. He is one of my greatest mentor in my development of humanity. I am sure that many of my friends ,as well as many of the youngsters of my age are also under the influence. Another sure thing is that, without Mr. Leung's work which guided me through these years, I would have become a monster who cared nothing of this world, and cared nothing of myself. As to exist is to care, I would have never existed without him at all (spiritually).

Soon after the inspirational seminar about the meaning of death by Prof. Kwan and my mentor, because of the rain (which was considered suitable to the theme of the talk, my friends, as well as most of the audience decided to leave. But the burning questions inside me barred me from leaving there and I came Mr. Leung. As you all know, he is a very famous person and many of the staying audience wanted to take a photo with him as well as get a autograph from him. Rarely did someone who came to him to ask questions. I, as the (proclaimed) apprentice of Mr. Leung, finally had the chance to ask him question.

My question is simple: what is the best way to die? Should we end ourselves in Nirvana, or do it beautifully like Socrates, who believe that his soul would become immortal?

He thus gave me his answer (indirectly).

What do you think? I really want to know. Please leave your comment if you want.