Self-harm

W is a sinner, but as Jesus Christ said we must not commit suicide, W dares not to kill myself. But in order to punish himself, he hurts myself.

If W do not hurt myself, how can the justice be done? Others will not know the dark side. The judgement has to be made on his own, so as the execution. There has to be someone to put the cross onto him to balance the right and wrong in this world. Yes. He is in the wrong side, and he has to do the right thing.

One day X (a friend of W) and W talked about a girl who was recently engaged. While X did not know that W used to love her, W knew X did. And then, they had the Roland-Barthes-sque discussion: described the girl from we knew and felt.

X said she was a simple-mind person and love the wisdom and virtue. Not only her appearance is beautiful but her soul is also the most adorable one. Losing her would be the part in his life that will never be recovered. He cursed the man who took away her. He was never a match to the girl, with the evil soul and the cold heart. Never. Never. Never.

On the contrary, W told X: It was the girl who picked up that man. If she was a person possessing the most wonderful character in the world, how could it be possible for her to choose a supposedly incompatible body part to fit her half-body? Therefore, she must not be that good.

X's heart was sunken. W knew it, because he had his heart broken before, only after understanding the logic. He kept this in mind, and cursed the girl instead.